Parents as Partners - The Upset Child

I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.

 Albert Einstein.

Occasionally a child will come home from school upset about something that has happened. Perhaps another child has hurt them or upset them in some way. Perhaps a teacher has unwittingly done something which has caused the upset.

How a parent responds to this situation is vital. One response is to downplay the whole thing and communicate to the child that they need to ‘get over it’. At the other end of the spectrum is buying into the whole story and becoming enraged that the child has been treated this way. This usually results in an angry email being sent demanding that something be done about it.

In between these two extremes lies curiosity. This means validating a child’s feelings and experience while at the same time realising this what they are saying is most likely not the full story.

This attitude of genuine curiosity often leads to a conversation with the child’s teacher to gain a fuller picture of what happened. Often the teacher is aware of what happened and can shed further important light on the matter. If the teacher is not aware of the incident, they are in the best position to investigate further by talking to staff and children who have witnessed it. They are also likely to be aware of social dynamics and events leading up to a particular incident.

This attitude of genuine curiosity from a parent is a gift. It prevents the jumping to conclusions, which can inadvertently make matter worse. It is the starting point which most often leads to lasting solutions.

Curiosity may have killed the proverbial cat, but it’s a precious attitude in humans.

Kevin Mazzer
Head of Primary School

Bibra Lake Diary - 2nd March 2025

Late afternoon. A channel of muddy water curves around the edge of the lake. A variety of water birds linger on the edges. Here and there, in dark patches, the surface is grated by a cool breeze from the south. Wingtips of a duck touch water, pricking the surface with pairs of rings. Turtle noses appear and disappear.

What was covered with a thin sheen of water a few weeks ago now lies exposed; flat, dry and baked almost-white. Little clumps of grass stubble the land here and there.  Doll-like avocets are brilliant in the sun. Their thin upcurved beaks like fine pipettes. 

A flock of grebes launch, beating their wings furiously like grasshoppers, with their legs trailing. Shelducks in their archaic military kit- brown, white, black and green, inspect the mudflat. Far out, too far to properly identify, a bird of prey picks at a carcass.

Suddenly I notice, emerging from the afternoon itself, a swarm of swallows swooping in ecstasy on midges.

Tree shadow darkens the parched mud flat.

Kevin Mazzer
Head of Primary School

In the Primary School....

Last week a number of children in our middle primary school had a great time using Base 10 Blocks to explore the relationship between numbers, their place value, names and pronunciation.  

Julia Humphreys